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Just…..won’t…..go…..away

 

            So we are at the beginning of a new year, well two weeks in but close enough. That sentiment is also how I would describe 2013, “meh close enough”, and I think it’s the reason why one year later I’m mostly in the same spot.  

 

            Yes there have been some accomplishments but my novel remains stalled and as you can see I am not exactly hogging bandwidth with all my blog posts since October. While my reader is probably wondering why this wasn’t titled “I hate myself” and concludes with an empty bottle of pills don’t fret, it hasn’t come to that but I do believe in being honest about my work progress this year.  

 

            Speaking of which I got some of my first compliments on my writing in my job as journalist, it felt great but I’ll be honest, it made me very nervous. I am completely aware that I am totally unprepared for the negativity that is sure to follow the success I’ve been promising for the last few years. I’ve got to remember to breathe and not look up the negative posters pictures and say the worst thing I can think of.

 

            There are lots to talk about now in the media and elsewhere but I think this blog is going to take a new direction. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and evaluating my work, what it says and what it does to me. As satisfying as it is to point out the hypocrisies of people like Kanye West it’s not changing anything, and truthfully we’re all shitty in one way or another plus why get furious with someone you will never meet? Some take it to a new level but if you are going to attack others you better be ready to face it yourself (pay attention people attacking free speech)

 

             There will still be plenty of opinion, media stories and commentary on the information but instead it will be about what’s important, or at least important to me. It’s also hard to ignore the fact that some of the greatest agents of change were those that hid the lessons in stories. 

 

Andrew

 

P.S. This post was literally as rough draft as it gets. Aside from grammar and readability changes nothing stylistic has been touched. 

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Let’s Fall Into Some Writing……..

            I’m striking out on a new writing endeavour that involves new projects and old. I know it’s been a while since I posted here but if you truly love my writing you would have known I’ve been posting on my other blog here. Summer is for cars but if my erect nipples in the morning are telling me anything its fall and soon everything must disappear and hibernate. That brings us to this blog post. I’ve got chapter one of the novel mapped out (I don’t even want to go to the search and see how many times I’ve said that) and it begins being typed after this post. Since I apparently hate free time I’ve also added a few other ideas to the list of “things to work on”.    

            I’ve been researching some grants and bursaries available to “emerging writers” (there is no way I would give myself that name) but most require a medium I haven’t tried yet, short stories. I’ve enjoyed reading them and have several from high school that I still think about but I’ve never personally written them. I’ll be doing some research before I begin but needless to say you will be hearing about this in the future and I might even be looking for some input (oooooooo lucky you!)

            Another thing I have become interested in recently is graphic novels. I know they are making big gains in schools, even Shakespeare has been represented, and personally I love them. I love the written word, ugh so pretentious but it just flowed (much like this interruption), but there is something I deeply respect, and enjoy, about someone being able to tell a complex and entertaining story with pictures, a few words of narration and dialogue. I doubt many people have heard of the graphic novel “The Walking Dead” and it’s kind of exciting stating that I’m a trailblazer but that’s because I feel I’m among the first to say it influenced my interest in graphic novels. This is the lowest on my task list at the moment but I’d be lying if I said there weren’t a few ideas I had swirling through my head that has the potential to be something interesting.

            While we are on the topic of writing, you know because this blog is about something completely different, I had some concerns these last weeks that could potentially affect my writing one day. The seasons are changing where I live and with that a drastic change in temperature, sadly at 31 years old I’m beginning to feel the cold in my bones. On one hand this means Matlock and 4:30 dinners but on the other hand I have very real worries about arthritis or something else that harms writing ability in the future. There could be a variety of causes, I’ve started and will continue to research, but either way something needs to happen or I’m going to have to start learning to type through pain. 

            Well that’s things in a nutshell, I am clearly still a lover of clichés and I’ve decided I need new projects. There are a few more potential things in the future but that’s better saved for another day, instead I will sit back, keep typing and look forward to my 1st anniversary at a career I love. 

 

Andrew

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Just Do It (someone should trademark that)

It’s interesting to me how successful people, especially in high profile jobs, take on almost a mythical aura about them. People think there is some secret successful people know or some part in their brain that other people don’t have but that’s simply not true. If you want something you take it or you create it for yourself. Every person born has this ability and depending on where you live and the politicians that run your education system this attitude of creation and success can be brought out or cruelly suppressed.
It was only recently that I got some positive perspective and strangely enough from someone I, and many others like me, have had a rocky relationship with, my father. He had come to pick me up from the airport and as I was being driven to my car he commented that it’s pretty mind blowing the different things I’ve done in my short time on this planet. Without a thought I replied “yeah I’ve been pretty lucky” and my Dad put a hand up to stop me. “I wouldn’t say you’ve been lucky Andrew, yes you have gotten many opportunities but they required you first making the choice to do it.”
Now it sounds weird but that was one of the best compliments I have ever gotten from anyone. Yes it’s odd but it was because broken down he was essentially saying “you’ve made good choices and you seen something you wanted and taken it.” It’s amazing how one comment can change your perspective on the last decade and boost your confidence. The reason I say this is because growing up, and I know I am definitely not alone here, I was generally guided and voluntold into many of the things I did and liked. Hell I went through an entire university program because other people thought I would be good at the job. Sure there were moments here or there where I would make a decision for myself but it was generally because others already had made the same decision so they went with it.
Skip ahead a decade and I’ve gotten to do a lot of exciting things and for one reason, I wanted it bad enough so I created the opportunity. There are always hundreds of reasons to not do something (gee they should put that in a self help book or something) and very few reasons to do something but if you want that something bad enough those few reasons are all you need.
Now before I get some angry emails there are people that played an integral part in this success story and they have my undying appreciation. Things like automotive and writing opportunities came because of them but in the end it was me that made the decision. The decision to take the chance, sacrifice many hours of free time but most importantly leave all bridges behind me intact. I can say with full confidence that I would not have a writing career had I needed to get the final word in and tell some people what I really thought of them. Turns out those people are more often than not very sorry and happy to offer opportunities to make it up to you.
There will always be obstacles or reasons not to do something but that’s just a test to see if you want it bad enough. More often than not getting what you want is a matter of actually doing something rather than just talking about it.

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Who Wants A Happy Weekend Story?!?!?!

What do you say when you realize that an inanimate object brings more joy to a person than you can?

Trust me I’m still trying to figure that one out myself.

Now I’m not going to be like those people on Facebook that make vague comments about vague subjects in a cry for attention. I’ll explain what happened but it will still be brief but enough for you to get the idea.

In my time that I’ve been given I feel that I am pretty accomplished. One of those accomplishments includes driving very nice cars and writing stories about them. It’s an excellent opportunity but in the big picture not one that stands head and shoulders above what else I’ve done in my 31 years. Well that brings us to this story as I was once testing a nice car and got to drive it around quite a bit. During these travels I took someone I have known for a long time, you could almost say they are family, for a ride and at one point offered to drop them off at their place in the vehicle.

(This is when the person realizes their neighbours could be outside and see them get dropped off in a very nice car)

Without a single iota of doubt I can absolutely say that at that moment of realization they were the happiest I had ever seen that person in our entire relationship.

I saw them visibly excited and not because I’m a national award winner, not because I have been voted the best in my field in several activities/jobs, not because I was valedictorian of my graduating class, the first of my family to graduate from University but because I had an object that would allow this person to show off to others.

By the way it had nothing to do that I was driving and testing that car but because it made them look good.

I’m either a trollop or I’m the car’s pimp, I haven’t quite decided.

Look, I’m about as material as they come. I love cars, I love money and I love having stuff. I also love feeling like I’m valued and I couldn’t have felt farther from that at that moment.

I’m not saying don’t have stuff, I just saying don’t let it be more important than a living breathing human being. I thought I had felt rejection before but this is a whole new level.

Andrew

P.S. I whole heartedly apologize for being such a downer at the dawn of your weekend. It wasn’t intentional and for what it’s worth I feel much better and look forward to the weekend with a little weight off my shoulders. Don’t hold it in, it’s not worth it.

P.P.S – What does this have to do with writing? or the book? or anything for that matter? Nothing, these are the things that I put into writing to not only help myself process but if you pay attention they can tell you a lot more about me or what goes into my writing than I’ll ever answer in a question.

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3rd Post In 3 Days. I’m Good For Months…..

Well I accomplished the novel aspect of my list.  It’s still Tuesday right?  I was listening to my favourite radio show yesterday, Opie and Anthony, and they were interviewing author Brad Thor.  Listening to him talk hammered it home that I can’t just take a laid back approach to this.  Listening to a room full of self made men tell the same story of success makes you think that maybe there is a certain way to go about this. 

 

I’m still working on that bio part but I think today is a good day although somehow that last statement sounds vaguely familiar.  I’ve also been working on a few things for myself and my blog.  We are going to be doing a little admin work soon and look for the appearance of a new blog soon.  I’m not stopping this one but I am going to split things.  It helps to keep your professional and personal life separate apparently. 

 

Until next time

 

Andrew

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Same ol, same ol

Do you ever just get used to failure? It’s a scary thought but what’s even scarier is the fact that I completely blew my deadlines I set yesterday and it didn’t bother me too much. I thought about it while I was loading sod at 6 pm and after a few moments said “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

 You almost start to wonder how badly I want it. Trust me I do, I wonder why nothing is finished if I want to do this writing thing so badly. Anyways, self criticism is a pretty foreign concept on this blog so I won’t do too much of it. 

 Not too much to put into this entry other than I’m posting this and then getting back to finishing that god damn list.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I swear I enjoy this

 

 

Andrew

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It’s Not Fun If It’s Not Last Minute

I’m so glad that I am one of those people[1] that plan everything and do a bit at a time so it doesn’t pile up. I’m also glad that I don’t ever drink nor do I ever resort to sarcasm as a personal shield…

 Now that I’ve thoroughly beaten you over the head it is clear I am a leave it to the last moment kind of guy. It’s like if I have the chance to do something else I will so I need that extra pressure to keep me on task and also producing. I’m sure it’s also great for my heart, hair line and blood pressure. I can’t say I thrive on pressure because I don’t enjoy that time, I’m usually saying something that shouldn’t be repeated, but every time there I am again trying to get things in last minute.

 That brings me to today. There are no firm deadlines per se but I’ve set some for myself and when I write another entry later today[2] I will be updating you on how things went. So without further ado today’s list that is clearly as important to you as people’s Facebook statuses updating their entire date.

 

– Chapter One of my novel – Ok it’s seriously time to get this motherfucker done. I hope that shows how frustrated I am simply talking about starting but probably not as sick as you are hearing about it. Before this day is done the prologue to the novel will be completed. That’s guaranteed. 

– Blog post – Does it make me a self serving dick to make one of my goals “writing out my goals”?

– Bio – Usually for my friends at Recon Rag I write a bio about somebody, this time I am going to write a bio on a battle. I’ll post a link if they publish, if not I’ll just put it here. 

 So that brings us to the close of part one of this entry. Check back and by 6pm central I will have part two with a successful update (see how you don’t leave any manoeuvring room) and if not I will happily publish whatever mocking comment you wish to put on this thing. 

[1] What do you mean “those people?”

[2] “And when celebrities give their kids normal names” I’m sure you’re thinking

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Holiday Birthdays

They seem awesome right? Wrong. Outside of Christmas, if you are amongst a group that celebrates, May long weekend and Canada Day are the two worst times to be born as a Canadian.  The day itself isn’t bad but you are forever competing with other social events. Think of the situation as a frat party and the holiday events are bringing hookers and blow to the party and all you have is a VHS copy of the movie “Casper” to show your friends (actually did happen…. I love you Mom and Dad but man did your responsible parenting make my early teen party movie suck movie wise, I’m really traumatized…….

            This isn’t going to be some long diatribe, some passive aggressive attack nor is it me whining, it is just a simple observation and I know one that is not new either.  If you want people to do something you need to make it as simple as possible.  Between my job as a journalist and my personal observations it seems, in general, people are looking for that one roadblock to justify not making the effort.